In the saddle…

And ON the horse!  Ben surprised us all again.  After countless reminders that he did NOT want to ride Spot and that he did NOT want to sit in the saddle, with enough support and the absence of pressure, he changed his mind. 

Ben’s lesson started with grooming again.  He remembered which brushes to use and warmed up enough to rub Spot with his hand.  He helped carry the saddle pad and saddle over from the  Tack Room and then helped Shelli pull the girth tight.  Using the blue lead rope, Ben then led Spot into the indoor arena.  He learned to stay to the left of Spot, near his head while leading.  We could see Ben’s confidence growing as Spot reliably stopped and started whenever Ben did and followed wherever Ben led.

Next, Kelly and Shelli gave Ben an opportunity to play a ring toss game that is quite difficult to do when not in the saddle atop your horse.  Ben declined to get on Spot, but wanted to play the game anyway.  So, they did.

Although he was sure he did not want to ride Spot today, Ben was agreeable to having *me* ride Spot.  So, I fastened my safety helmet, and mounted Spot behind the child-size saddle.  We expected another refusal when I invited Ben to sit with me, but for whatever reason, he didn’t hesitate in saying “yes” this time.  And other than making sure my hands were on his hips, Ben didn’t panic or get upset in any way when Spot began to move. Kelly and Shelli taught Ben how to make Spot stop (say ‘whoah!’) and go (say ‘walk on, Spot!’).  He loved this and enjoyed practicing with Spot.  After some time riding, Ben said “let’s go back in the barn so we can brush Spot,”  which is just what we did.

But not before Little Brother Will had a turn. 

Ella Rose was also offered a turn.  She did not surprise us and predictably declined.  And that’s just fine.  Two cowboys is enough for now.  We’ll see what happens next week…

I Gallop!

Ben’s first horseback riding lesson was today.  Enchanted Acres Equestrian Center and the lovely Miss Kelly and Miss Shelli offer wonderful individually tailored lessons for “exceptional” riders on Sundays.  This is a different center than the one Ben visited with Mark back in November.   That experience was so positive for Ben that we thought regular lessons might be something he would enjoy.  That, and the therapeutic benefit of riding, of course.

Our first visit was last Sunday, where we observed another child during her lesson.  Ben really enjoyed watching the little girl ride the gentle appaloosa, Spot, but continually asked if he could have a turn to ride.  When the opportunity arrived, Ben eagerly put on his helmet, listened to the directions, indicated he knew his left foot would be put in the stirrup first, smiled as he was hoisted up into the saddle…and promptly freaked out.  “MAMA!  I DO NOT LIKE THIS.  STOP!  I WANT TO GET OFF!  GET ME OFF OF THIS HORSE!  AHHHH!  I DON’T LIKE SPOT!”

We guided Ben to dismount and he ceased yelling, but made sure we all knew that he did NOT like it when Spot moved.  Spot, to his credit, continued standing in the same place he had been during Ben’s stationary “ride”, munching the new grass beneath him, unaffected by Ben’s panic.

Along with the ASD, Ben has sensory integration difficulties.  He can be hyper-sensitive to certain sensations, especially those that affect his balance and motor coordination.  Maintaining his balance on an unpredictable, albeit  stationary,  grass munching horse was too much for Ben’s vestibular system.  It was obvious we were going to have to begin this endeavor at a much slower pace.

Or so I thought.

Ben’s first lesson consisted of initial grooming tasks, then using the lead rope to guide Spot into the arena.  There, Miss Kelly and Ben used finger paints to paint right on Spot.  This was a neat tactile exercise that encouraged familiarity and comfort with the horse, while using all kinds of language, too.  Next, Ben offered different foods for Spot to taste,  including a can of Dr. Pepper which the horse snarfed and asked for more.  (evil high fructose corn syrup!) Here Ben talked directly to Spot telling him “C’mon Spot, here’s your sweet feed.   Do you like it?  Eat some more.”  So cute.

Lastly, Kelly and Shelli introduced us to the iGallop.  It’s an electronic horse riding simulator that really does help you feel like you are in the saddle.  There are 3 speeds on the iGallop, of which I anticipated Ben to vehemently protest.  He was not eager to climb up, even after watching both Will and I take a happy turn.  After encouragement, Ben agreed to get on with Mark and seemed to trepeditiously enjoy it.  Once he realized that he could start, stop, or speed up the iGallop on his own, Ben gradually lost all inhibitions.  We were actually a bit worried at the end that we’d have a hard time getting him off of it.

Hopefully we can transfer this success to riding the real thing.  We can’t wait for next Sunday!

Horse Farm field trip

Ben and his dad went on a field trip today to Eden Wind horse farm.  The program was for kids age 4 and up, so this was a solo event for Ben.  Spending one-on-one time with each of the children is something Mark and I have talked about implementing, but never really do.  Today was a good start.  And also, an excellent opportunity for our RDI goals.

Encouraging the development of Ben’s episodic memory is something we try to do as often as possible.  Recalling what we did everyday with emphasis on emotions and relationship is one way we work on this.  Ben usually reports at dinner the events of the day to Mark.  Today, I got to be on the receiving end of the storytelling.   I had to try very hard to give plenty of time and space for Ben to organize his thoughts and speak freely without me peppering him with leading questions or hurrying him to respond when I thought enough time had passed.  What a great lesson for me this was!  Ben had this to say about his trip–before we even looked at the photos Mark had taken.

“Mama, I rode a horse!”

“A black horse”

[responding to Mark]  “His name was Chocolate.”

“I went in a trailer.”

“I was sad.”

“I wanted go in the trailer again.”

“Molly.”  ["Molly?", I ask]  “Yes, Molly the horse.”

“I brushed Molly.”

“I gave Molly a carrot.”  [me:  "You did?"]

“Yes, I did!”  [smiling at my expression] “You’re feeling surprised, Mama?”

“We walked.”

“A grownup talks.”

“There was a grey cat.”

“I rode a horse.”

“I wanted to ride Molly.”

“I was sad. “

“You’re feeling surprised again?” [again, reading my facial expressions]

“I got a horseshoe.”

What things I can learn by controlling my tendency to talk too much!  By not having a complete context to work with, it was easier for me to withhold from “helping” Ben when he retold his experience at the farm to me.  With only my facial expressions as feedback, there was far less ‘echolalia’ or repeating what I said back to me.  There was great referencing while delivering his messages, and after delivery to record my expressions–even commenting on them.

One thing seemed clear, especially after writing down what was said, that we’ll need to encourage more shared memory experiences.  Along with episodic memory, ASD kids also have trouble recognizing their memories can also be the memories of others.  Scientists apparently refer to this development, humorously, as the “we-go” (as opposed to the ‘ego’) where there is understanding of the self as part of a bigger unit –specifically, a dyad with a parent, at first–that co-regulates and is interdependent.

So, here’s the plan of action for Team Parent:

1.  Talk less, listen more

2.  When we do talk, continue to use more declarative language, less imperative language (describing, not requesting)

3.  Encourage ‘we-go’ development by increasing shared memory experiences and storytelling that uses “WE”

I keep hearing a line from my alma mater’s fight song in my head lately.  It often seems like a battle, if not literally than certainly in our own heads,  to remediate the autism, in that a fight song is certainly appropriate.  It’s a three word phrase, and it’s been used recently in a different context that also applies.  Healing, hope, and battle–FORWARD, TOGETHER FORWARD.

Go Huskies!  And go Us!

Blueberry Picking

You might remember back in March we went strawberry picking. We had so much fun and the berries were so good that we went back several times to restock. Well, we’re a bit late in the game for blueberry season, apparently, as Myers’ Farm might call it a season before next week. Boo hoo. Although, as it turns out, blueberries (at least in the quantities that Will consumed–think handfuls at a time shoved and smeared all over his cheeks) are a bit too digestively advanced for his tender, toddler tummy. Too much information? Ah well. It’s one of those duties they forget to put on the job description for parents–Poop Patrol. But, I digress. Let’s just look at blueberry picking photos. Happy happy children, (almost) organic blueberries, a bucket-like box that didn’t “kuplink” or “kuplank”, but definitely “kuplunked”. ‘Huh?’, you say? Go read Robert McCloskey’s Blueberries for Sal.
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