Cowboy Number Two

For the last few months we’ve had a second cowboy in the house.

Will began taking riding lessons during Ben’s lesson at Enchanted Acres with Ms. Trish back in August.  He really really enjoys it and loves his lesson horse, Splatter.

The cool part of it all is that that both Ben’s and Will’s teachers work together for part of the lesson.  Both horses are in the ring and the boys get to play games while in the saddle.  Many of the games are “hide and seek” sorts of activities where they have to maneuver their horses to different parts of the ring to look inside different containers for objects (puzzle pieces, different colored balls, play fruit/veggies…).  There is turn-taking, information exchange, and social interaction involved all while learning how to ’steer’ with the reins, communicate with the horse, and stay in the saddle!

We love that Kelly and Trish offer up this combined experience for siblings.  It’s great for Will who loves to do anything Ben does, and it’s also great for Ben to have a partner to interact with.  I love that the combined lesson doesn’t require me to be in two places at once, and that the relationship piece we work so hard for in Ben’s remediation can be supported in this, one of their favorite activities.

There are parts of the lesson that are not combined and it’s so amazing to see your children interact with other adults, apart from you.  Will listens intently to instructions from Trish and seems eager to please.  He is much more reserved and almost shy during his lesson, using a voice so soft and low that he needs encouragement to ‘use a big voice’ so the horse can hear him.  Trish has Will change positions in the saddle in order to strengthen muscles and encourage proper technique.  This jumping pose, however, sort of freaked me out.

I’ve been assured there will be no jumping for many years, yet–that three-year-olds only practice position.  Phew.

Ella Rose enjoys having me all to herself while we observe the lessons, and even felt brave one afternoon and requested to ride Star–Ben’s really tall lesson horse.  Thank God she’s too young for lessons.  I don’t think I could handle three of them in the saddle.   At least, not yet.  She is pretty darn cute in her boots, though.

Horse Show

Ben’s a winner!

We participated with the exceptional rider’s group at a local horse show today.   Tall Pines Horse Show in not-too-far-away Reevesville, SC provides a slot for Enchanted Acres’ group to show their stuff.  Ben on Spot, along with the rest of the group, rode around the ring a couple times, then lined up in the middle of the arena for the ribbon presentation.  Each exceptional rider received a “champion” ribbon for participating.  You can see how much Ben loved this.  The next show won’t be until the Fall.  We can’t wait to see how much more Ben can do by then.  Yaaahoooo!

Lesson 4: He trots??

I have no photos from this therapuetic horseback riding lesson lesson, but it needs to be documented.   It has been just 3 hours in as many weeks since Ben’s first initial freak-out over getting up on a horse.  He has progressed much faster than any of us ever anticipated.  After riding around the ring several times.  Ben decided he’d like to try going a little bit faster.  The next fastest gait after walking is called the trot.   It’s like a fast walk or jog that can be pretty bouncy for a brand new rider during his THIRD time up on a horse.   Ben LOVED trotting.  The bouncing one-two pattern of the gait made him giggle uncontrollably.  It was infectious and we were all laughing together chanting “trot trot trot trot…”.  How amazing is that??

Lesson 3: He rides solo!

Here’s Ben at his THIRD therapeutic horse back riding lesson, riding atop Spot BY HIMSELF.  Ben continues to surprise us all with his ever-expanding comfort with Spot.  This is Ben tacking his horse.  He is pulling the girth strap tight here, using upper body strength and minimal support.

Here is a little RDI moment of  co-regulation between Ben and his brother as they carry the bowl of sweet feed together. And here is Ben after turning Spot out into the pasture after his lesson.  Now that’s one confident cowboy!

In the saddle…

And ON the horse!  Ben surprised us all again.  After countless reminders that he did NOT want to ride Spot and that he did NOT want to sit in the saddle, with enough support and the absence of pressure, he changed his mind. 

Ben’s lesson started with grooming again.  He remembered which brushes to use and warmed up enough to rub Spot with his hand.  He helped carry the saddle pad and saddle over from the  Tack Room and then helped Shelli pull the girth tight.  Using the blue lead rope, Ben then led Spot into the indoor arena.  He learned to stay to the left of Spot, near his head while leading.  We could see Ben’s confidence growing as Spot reliably stopped and started whenever Ben did and followed wherever Ben led.

Next, Kelly and Shelli gave Ben an opportunity to play a ring toss game that is quite difficult to do when not in the saddle atop your horse.  Ben declined to get on Spot, but wanted to play the game anyway.  So, they did.

Although he was sure he did not want to ride Spot today, Ben was agreeable to having *me* ride Spot.  So, I fastened my safety helmet, and mounted Spot behind the child-size saddle.  We expected another refusal when I invited Ben to sit with me, but for whatever reason, he didn’t hesitate in saying “yes” this time.  And other than making sure my hands were on his hips, Ben didn’t panic or get upset in any way when Spot began to move. Kelly and Shelli taught Ben how to make Spot stop (say ‘whoah!’) and go (say ‘walk on, Spot!’).  He loved this and enjoyed practicing with Spot.  After some time riding, Ben said “let’s go back in the barn so we can brush Spot,”  which is just what we did.

But not before Little Brother Will had a turn. 

Ella Rose was also offered a turn.  She did not surprise us and predictably declined.  And that’s just fine.  Two cowboys is enough for now.  We’ll see what happens next week…

I Gallop!

Ben’s first horseback riding lesson was today.  Enchanted Acres Equestrian Center and the lovely Miss Kelly and Miss Shelli offer wonderful individually tailored lessons for “exceptional” riders on Sundays.  This is a different center than the one Ben visited with Mark back in November.   That experience was so positive for Ben that we thought regular lessons might be something he would enjoy.  That, and the therapeutic benefit of riding, of course.

Our first visit was last Sunday, where we observed another child during her lesson.  Ben really enjoyed watching the little girl ride the gentle appaloosa, Spot, but continually asked if he could have a turn to ride.  When the opportunity arrived, Ben eagerly put on his helmet, listened to the directions, indicated he knew his left foot would be put in the stirrup first, smiled as he was hoisted up into the saddle…and promptly freaked out.  “MAMA!  I DO NOT LIKE THIS.  STOP!  I WANT TO GET OFF!  GET ME OFF OF THIS HORSE!  AHHHH!  I DON’T LIKE SPOT!”

We guided Ben to dismount and he ceased yelling, but made sure we all knew that he did NOT like it when Spot moved.  Spot, to his credit, continued standing in the same place he had been during Ben’s stationary “ride”, munching the new grass beneath him, unaffected by Ben’s panic.

Along with the ASD, Ben has sensory integration difficulties.  He can be hyper-sensitive to certain sensations, especially those that affect his balance and motor coordination.  Maintaining his balance on an unpredictable, albeit  stationary,  grass munching horse was too much for Ben’s vestibular system.  It was obvious we were going to have to begin this endeavor at a much slower pace.

Or so I thought.

Ben’s first lesson consisted of initial grooming tasks, then using the lead rope to guide Spot into the arena.  There, Miss Kelly and Ben used finger paints to paint right on Spot.  This was a neat tactile exercise that encouraged familiarity and comfort with the horse, while using all kinds of language, too.  Next, Ben offered different foods for Spot to taste,  including a can of Dr. Pepper which the horse snarfed and asked for more.  (evil high fructose corn syrup!) Here Ben talked directly to Spot telling him “C’mon Spot, here’s your sweet feed.   Do you like it?  Eat some more.”  So cute.

Lastly, Kelly and Shelli introduced us to the iGallop.  It’s an electronic horse riding simulator that really does help you feel like you are in the saddle.  There are 3 speeds on the iGallop, of which I anticipated Ben to vehemently protest.  He was not eager to climb up, even after watching both Will and I take a happy turn.  After encouragement, Ben agreed to get on with Mark and seemed to trepeditiously enjoy it.  Once he realized that he could start, stop, or speed up the iGallop on his own, Ben gradually lost all inhibitions.  We were actually a bit worried at the end that we’d have a hard time getting him off of it.

Hopefully we can transfer this success to riding the real thing.  We can’t wait for next Sunday!

Horse Farm field trip

Ben and his dad went on a field trip today to Eden Wind horse farm.  The program was for kids age 4 and up, so this was a solo event for Ben.  Spending one-on-one time with each of the children is something Mark and I have talked about implementing, but never really do.  Today was a good start.  And also, an excellent opportunity for our RDI goals.

Encouraging the development of Ben’s episodic memory is something we try to do as often as possible.  Recalling what we did everyday with emphasis on emotions and relationship is one way we work on this.  Ben usually reports at dinner the events of the day to Mark.  Today, I got to be on the receiving end of the storytelling.   I had to try very hard to give plenty of time and space for Ben to organize his thoughts and speak freely without me peppering him with leading questions or hurrying him to respond when I thought enough time had passed.  What a great lesson for me this was!  Ben had this to say about his trip–before we even looked at the photos Mark had taken.

“Mama, I rode a horse!”

“A black horse”

[responding to Mark]  “His name was Chocolate.”

“I went in a trailer.”

“I was sad.”

“I wanted go in the trailer again.”

“Molly.”  ["Molly?", I ask]  “Yes, Molly the horse.”

“I brushed Molly.”

“I gave Molly a carrot.”  [me:  "You did?"]

“Yes, I did!”  [smiling at my expression] “You’re feeling surprised, Mama?”

“We walked.”

“A grownup talks.”

“There was a grey cat.”

“I rode a horse.”

“I wanted to ride Molly.”

“I was sad. “

“You’re feeling surprised again?” [again, reading my facial expressions]

“I got a horseshoe.”

What things I can learn by controlling my tendency to talk too much!  By not having a complete context to work with, it was easier for me to withhold from “helping” Ben when he retold his experience at the farm to me.  With only my facial expressions as feedback, there was far less ‘echolalia’ or repeating what I said back to me.  There was great referencing while delivering his messages, and after delivery to record my expressions–even commenting on them.

One thing seemed clear, especially after writing down what was said, that we’ll need to encourage more shared memory experiences.  Along with episodic memory, ASD kids also have trouble recognizing their memories can also be the memories of others.  Scientists apparently refer to this development, humorously, as the “we-go” (as opposed to the ‘ego’) where there is understanding of the self as part of a bigger unit –specifically, a dyad with a parent, at first–that co-regulates and is interdependent.

So, here’s the plan of action for Team Parent:

1.  Talk less, listen more

2.  When we do talk, continue to use more declarative language, less imperative language (describing, not requesting)

3.  Encourage ‘we-go’ development by increasing shared memory experiences and storytelling that uses “WE”

I keep hearing a line from my alma mater’s fight song in my head lately.  It often seems like a battle, if not literally than certainly in our own heads,  to remediate the autism, in that a fight song is certainly appropriate.  It’s a three word phrase, and it’s been used recently in a different context that also applies.  Healing, hope, and battle–FORWARD, TOGETHER FORWARD.

Go Huskies!  And go Us!